Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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