He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
