Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
