Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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