I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
