I puked a lego.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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