what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
