Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
