He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
