just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I will pee on everything he values.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
