Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
