Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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