If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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