That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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