you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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