how can u be prego again
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
