We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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