nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
