I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Barsexuality is the new black.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
