someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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