Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
