i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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