so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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