Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
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A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
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I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize