she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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