I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
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I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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