Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
