I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
