just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
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Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
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For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize