I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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