Plan B is the new Plan A
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
