how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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