Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
