You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
