I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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