that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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