I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
