Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
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she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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