I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
sarcasm needs its own font
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
