so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
