My first STD was from a foam party
my sisters under your porch take her home
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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