just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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