You work out of a Hotel?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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