I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
