he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
