So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
