It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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