so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
