Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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