she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
