Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
