When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
