We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
