I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
