he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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