yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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