he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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