Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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