i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
