coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I understand Curling. That high.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
