i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
